By Sherita Jones | The Anointing Grace
It Was Just Coffee
It was supposed to be just coffee. An old friend reached out, and we made plans to meet. On the surface there was nothing wrong with it. No plans to cross a line. No intention to sin. Just two people catching up.
But something was happening in the spirit, and I could feel it. Memories I had not thought about in years began to stir. Flashbacks surfaced uninvited. And I knew, in the place where the Holy Ghost bears witness, that I did not want any part of what was quietly being set up.
So I did the only thing I knew to do. I canceled before we ever sat down. Then I started casting those memories down. I pushed my mind toward God and His Word, and every time a memory tried to replay, I replaced it with Him. And somewhere in that wrestling, the Lord showed me something I did not expect.
I was not craving that person. I was craving intimacy.
Maybe that is where you are too. Maybe you are not as lustful as the enemy wants you to believe. Maybe underneath the pull is a deep, holy ache to be known, and that ache was never meant to be filled by a man, a memory, or a screen. It was meant to be filled by God.
So I began to say it out loud: God is enough. Not because it sounded spiritual, but because He is.
Desire Is Not the Enemy. Direction Is.
The Greek word most often translated "lust" in the New Testament is epithumia (ep-ee-thoo-MEE-ah). It simply means a strong desire, a longing set upon something. The word itself is not wicked. Its target decides whether it is holy or sinful.
Here is the proof. At the Last Supper, Jesus said:
"With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer." (Luke 22:15 KJV)
That word "desire" is epithumia. The same word used for the lust of the flesh is used for the longing in the heart of the Son of God. So the problem was never that you desire. God made you with the capacity to long, to reach, to want to be known. The problem is where that desire gets pointed.
Lust is not a new desire. It is a hijacked one. It takes a God-given longing for intimacy and aims it at a counterfeit.
So ask yourself honestly: when the pull comes, what am I actually hungry for? Is it the person, or is it the feeling of being seen, wanted, and held?
Lust Is Looking for an Opening
Lust is familiar. It knows your history. It wants to be your default, the place your mind drifts when you are tired, lonely, bored, or hurting. And it is patient. It waits for an opportunity to present itself.
God warned Cain about this before he ever lifted his hand:
"If thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him." (Genesis 4:7 KJV)
The Hebrew word for "lieth" is rabats (raw-BATS). It describes an animal crouching, lying in wait. Sin is not wandering around aimlessly. It is crouched at the door of your life, watching for the moment you open it.
Paul says the same thing in Romans 7:8: "But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence." The word "occasion" is aphorme (af-or-MAY), a military term for a base of operations, a launching point for an attack. Sin needs a foothold. It needs somewhere to set up camp.
A coffee date. A late night text. A song that takes you back. A scroll that lingers one second too long. None of these look like a battlefield. That is exactly why they work.
Where in your life has the enemy been quietly building a base of operations?
Recognizing the Trap Before It Closes
James tells us exactly how the trap works:
"But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death." (James 1:14-15 KJV)
"Enticed" is deleazo (del-eh-AD-zo), a fishing and hunting word. It means to catch with bait. No fish bites a bare hook. The bait always looks like food. The trap always looks like something you need.
Notice the progression: drawn away, enticed, conceived, sin, death. The trap does not close at the end. It starts closing at the beginning, the moment you let yourself be drawn. That is where discernment has to work.
Here are some signs the bait is on the hook:
- The past starts replaying. Memories you had laid down suddenly resurface, and they come with feelings attached.
- You start explaining it away. "It's innocent." "We're just friends." "Nothing is going to happen." If you have to convince yourself, the Spirit has already spoken.
- You want to keep it quiet. Anything you would hide from your pastor, your spouse, or your accountability partner is already in the dark.
- Your hunger for God dims. Prayer feels heavier. The Word feels dry. Something else is feeding you.
- You feel the check in your spirit. That quiet unease is not anxiety. It is the Holy Ghost saying, "This is not for you."
Which of these have you felt and ignored?
Resist, Then Draw Nigh
When Jesus was led into the wilderness, the devil came to Him at His hungriest moment, after forty days of fasting. Every temptation offered something real: bread, protection, a kingdom. And every time, Jesus answered the same way: "It is written" (Matthew 4:4, 7, 10).
In Greek, "it is written" is gegraptai (GEG-rap-tai), in the perfect tense. It means it was written and it still stands written. Jesus did not debate the devil. He did not negotiate. He stood on a Word that had already been settled.
James gives us the same pattern:
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you." (James 4:7-8 KJV)
"Resist" is anthistemi (anth-IS-tay-mee), to stand against, to set yourself in opposition. It is not a feeling. It is a posture. But notice the order. Submit first. Then resist. Then draw nigh. You cannot resist in your own strength what you have not first surrendered to God.
This is where we must be honest. You do not overcome lust by willpower. Paul says, "Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). The power is His. Your part is to choose Him.
And when the memories come, Paul tells you what to do with them:
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV)
"Imaginations" is logismos (log-is-MOS), reasonings and mental arguments. The replay in your mind is not harmless. It is building a case against the knowledge of God. You do not entertain it. You take it captive.
Are you trying to fight temptation, or are you standing on what is already written?
When It Shows Up: Shut It Down
The trap will come. What matters is what you do in the first moment. Here is a plan for when it knocks.
- Name it. Do not dress it up. Say to yourself, "This is temptation, and I see it." What is named loses its disguise.
- Say no to the invitation. If it is a coffee date, a conversation, or a place, decline it. Joseph did not reason with Potiphar's wife. He fled (Genesis 39:12). Some doors you do not crack open to see what is behind them.
- Speak the Word out loud. Do what Jesus did. Have scriptures ready before you need them, and say "It is written" with your mouth. Keep Romans 6:14, James 4:7, and 1 Corinthians 10:13 close.
- Cast down the replay. When a memory surfaces, do not linger on it to see how it ends. Take it captive and replace it with a truth about God.
- Redirect the desire, do not just suppress it. The longing is real, so give it somewhere to go. Worship. Pray. Open the Word. Tell Him plainly, "Lord, I want intimacy. I want it with You."
- Guard your defaults. Idle time and mindless scrolling are open doors. They are not always sin, but they are often the setup. Trade some of that time for time in His presence.
- Say it until you believe it: God is enough. Not as a slogan, but as a confession of faith. He is.
And remember, God has already made a way out:
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13 KJV)
The way of escape is there. Will you take it?
Sin Is Not Your Lord. Grace Is Your Help.
"For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace." (Romans 6:14 KJV)
"Dominion" is kurieuo (koo-ree-YOO-oh), to rule as lord, to exercise ownership. Sin may still knock at the door, but it no longer holds the title deed to your life. It is not your master. It does not get the final word. If you are in Christ, you have a new Lord.
And when the pull is strong, you are not left alone to white-knuckle your way through it:
"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16 KJV)
"Boldly" is parrhesia (par-ray-SEE-ah), freedom of speech, confidence without shame. You do not have to clean yourself up before you come. You come boldly, right in the middle of the pull.
"In time of need" comes from eukairos (yoo-KAI-ros), meaning well-timed, at the right moment. God's grace does not show up late. It arrives right on time, in the exact moment the trap is set.
So here is the truth, sister. You were made for intimacy. That longing is not your enemy. But no man, no memory, and no screen can satisfy what was designed for God. Draw nigh to Him, and He will draw nigh to you. Seek Him earnestly, and you will find what I found in that moment of wrestling.
He is enough.
Verse Reflection Questions
Luke 22:15 "With desire I have desired..." If desire itself is not sinful, what is the deeper longing underneath the pull you feel? Where has that longing been pointed?
Genesis 4:7 "Sin lieth at the door..." What doors in your life have you left cracked open? What would it look like to shut one of them this week?
James 1:14-15 "Drawn away of his own lust, and enticed." What bait has the enemy used on you before? How can you recognize it sooner next time?
James 4:7-8 "Resist the devil... Draw nigh to God." Is there an area where you have been resisting without submitting first? What does drawing nigh to God look like in your daily rhythm?
2 Corinthians 10:5 "Casting down imaginations..." Which memories or thoughts replay most often? What specific truth about God will you replace them with?
Romans 6:14 "Sin shall not have dominion over you." Where have you been living as though sin is still your lord? What changes when you believe it no longer holds the title deed?
Hebrews 4:16 "Come boldly unto the throne of grace." Do you run to God in the moment of temptation, or only after you have fallen? What keeps you from coming boldly?
